Under the Noctilcalitic Moon
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
"Why Bitches Should Be House-Trained Before Being Introduced Into Society - A Conflict Resolution Case Study"
Early one morning I came across a correspondence via my mailbox with the following attachments in it. As I read it, I couldn’t help but decide to post this rather strange junk email up on my blog.
This all started with an ultimatum from a group of university students (T,C,Y,W,K )to a certain member of their team (F. C.) who has been consistently not turning up to the group meetings, (apparently) independently working at the project task on her own without keeping her project mates updated on her progress and just being plain and outright defensive with her opinions.
This is a correspondence of the ultimatum. I’ll let you make up your own minds. Email A – T,C,Y,W,K, Email B – F.C.
-------------
Email A1:
As we all know, the presentation is on next week on Wednesday and that the final project is due at the end of the semester (in week 12). As a group we feel that interaction and communication is a must and that the face to face meetings are very important. Every one of us has taken time out of our busy schedule to come to these meetings. We are all aware that we have responsibilities outside of this project, such as work and other assignments, however we try to be as flexible as possible to accommodate to the individual needs of our group mates. I propose that given the current circumstances that it would be appropriate for F.C. to reconsider her group membership with us, if she continues to be unavailable to the meetings, as sole communication via email is rather unacceptable, if not difficult to carry out due to the nature of the project. The rest of the group members feel that these terms are acceptable as we all find that the meetings are highly productive and a key element to the success of the project.
Since the presentation is only days away, it would be fair to say that F.C.’s exclusion from the group at this point of time would be inconsiderate and unfair. However, she should consider joining another group for the final project that will better accommodate her needs and her schedule.
This email has been sent out to all the group members, as well as June Buchanan (the unit convenor). However F.C. in particular should take into consideration if she would like to continue membership with this group. It should be noted that continuing membership will mean:
- showing up to meetings
- being supportive and respectful of other members
- showing initiative and productivity
- taking responsibility
- coordinating group member schedules and work task
If these terms can be achieved and met, F.C. is more than welcome to continue working with us on the final project.
All members should be aware that she has until Xth April, 6pm via mass email to inform all members of her decision. If no reply is received by then, it will automatically be regarded that she is seeking membership with another group for the final project, but still participating in the upcoming presentation.
Regards
T,C,Y,W,K
Email B1:
I would like to address some of the accusations levelled against me. Furthermore I do not see how this can be resolved between us if it is a simple he says, she says argument and thus would like June Buchanan to be the mediator in this discussion. A copy has been forwarded to her.
showing up to meetings - I was able to attend the earlier meetings, meetings at which more than half the group were absent and from those meetings I concluded that they were ineffective and a mismanagement of time. However, this opinion may change if there actually is evidence of the fruitfulness of these endeavours. From what has been reported back to me it took a substantial amount of time to just allocate parts. I did not advocate email being the sole communication method by which to contact my group members. What I was advocating was regular communication via email as there was a lack of reply to any of the emails I sent. In the times that I asked questions, no one answered me or offered assistances or clarification. I told W that I could not make this Sunday for dress rehearsals and recommended the change to Monday. I am not uncompromising or unreasonable but if a person genuinely cannot be at a certain place at a certain time it should not be held against them. As a compromise I will endeavour to make every single meeting you set from now on, however, you must take into consideration that I do have outside committments, especially at night, (I have 1-2 chiropractic sessions a week) and that I do not always have access to transportation.
being supportive and respectful of other members - As far as I can tell I have been supportive and respectful of members. I think this accusation is rather unfair as there have been no instances of unsupportive behaviour or disrespect. I would like to know what these accusations are based on so that I can reflect and reevaluate the behaviour that you so deem to be unsupportive and disrespectful.
showing initiative and productivity Whilst I have not been physically available at the meetings I have not been sitting idly. In fact whilst you were at the meeting I was analysising Blackmores financial reports in order to write the situational analysis, PEST analysis and market analysis. I was motivated in the most part to start the rest of the assignment because the lack of communication between group members as to the progress of their assigned section. If that is not initiative then I do not know what is. Productivity is not only measured by attendance at meetings. Furthermore I had started the presentation and translating it into a power point presentation before this meeting. I was told that K had done a lot of work on this (and I applaud him for doing so) as opposed to the perceived lack of work on my part, however, I was rather surprised to see that Kentaro's work was mainly just a summary of chapter 10, which I had already done. Therefore if productivity and initiative is measured against such standards then I do not believe that I have failed as in every respect I have been able to match the group.
taking responsibility I believe that by going ahead and starting the rest of the assignment I am taking responsibility. Instead of waiting for allocation of my parts, which I do not wholly agree with, I have done research into two markets worthy of consideration. Once again I do not know where this accusation comes from and the least you could do is to tell me what I have done that you feel is irresponsible. coordinating group member schedules and work task From the offset I did not agree with allocation of parts and breaking the assignment into individual tasks for individuals. I believe this method makes the whole plan incoherent and harder to integrate. I must admit that I did not let my concerns be known at the time but believed that once people did not deliver on time then we would see the error in doing that. I had previously proposed to W (once again, I should have proposed to the group) that everyone contribute to each section to the best of their ability and then to amalgamate the findings. That, I believe is the true nature of group work, everyone contributing to every part of the project and to be personally involved in every facet of the planning process. Arguably this might not work in a large company, but currently I do not believe that one single person in our group specialises in any particular field such as for example marketing research and thus believe that in this setting it would work.
I would like it to be known that I am not the only one guilty of mismanagement, if I am at all. The lack of a formal deadline and enforcement of deadlines have in part contributed to the sluggish performance of our group.
In having said that, I do wish to remain a part of the group but the group must understand that they too must reevaluate their behaviour and improve and should not attribute the woes of the assignment to me.
Moreover I hope that the group will not employ double standards and:
support and respect me
perform to the best of their ability in meeting deadlines
maintain a high quality of work show initiative
If these conditions are met then I believe we will have a harmonious working relationship for the rest of the semester.
I, in turn would like a reply from the group members by Xth of April 6pm via mass email. If any of the members would like to discuss this with me further, please call me onso that individual positions on this matter can be understood with more clarity.
F.C.
Email A2:
Dear F.C.
I understand that you took the previous email harshly. However, if you do accept the standing terms requested, then we can all expect to work harmoniously for this project.
Please note that the terms of agreement stated were not framed as accusations towards you but were merely guidelines that group members should abide to while in this project. I apologize if you took it as otherwise.
You have however
1) Failed to keep the group informed about your progress, choosing to leave W to inform us of your doings. W is not responsible for keeping us updated, you are. Additionally, though you have participated in the group via emails, admittedly each group member, on average, have only received 6 emails from you (averaging 1 a week, which has not generated much of a response due to the preferred nature of face to face discussion), as opposed to other group members showing up for 4 meetings (each approximately 2 hours long, today’s meeting was 5 hours long), discussing the contents of your emails as well.
2) Have been uncommunicative to the group as a whole about your schedule, participation and availability
3) Your communication style has been blunt and condescending, causing a lot of friction amongst group members.
Over a msn session with the group members via W’s account, several of us tried to discuss the assignment with you. These were some of the replies you gave us (to approximation):
“So you guys are making me do the Powerpoints, I guess that the price I pay for not coming along to meetings” – You make it sound like we’re shoving punishment at you, but delegating Powerpoint work to you. You weren’t there to make decisions with us about task work in the first place; neither did you nominate yourself for particular task work prior to meetings. There should be no negativity on your part as to which task you are allocated if you decided not to be part of the discussion process.
“Unlike some other people who go to uni and their lives revolves around their friends, I have things to do” – Understandably, We all have things to do. Is this not an accusation on your part that we, the rest of the group who can make it to meetings are people who just have lives that revolves around our friends?
“It is a waste of time to meet up for meetings. It is more productive if we just worked from home. [Directed at C] What kind of fruitful contribution have you made to the presentation? Decide on what everyone’s contribution is. Decide on what we are going to do in the meetings then come talk to me. Otherwise you’re just wasting my time and being unproductive.” – It is your responsibility to take part in the delegation and task scheduling. If you do not communicate with us about what you want, we will not know. If you do not communicate with us what you want out of the meetings, we will not know. You are not only wasting your time, but our time as well, because we do not know what you want and what you expect from us. Thus you are making the group unproductive by not participating in our discussions. As a group we take the initiative to communicate with each other, no one individual should have to “come talk to” you after a discussion. You should “come talk” to us as a group. If you feel that our group meetings amount to nothing, and are a waste of time, please by all means come and mediate them, no one would oppose to it. We look forward to your participation
“I’m busy unlike other people [referring to the group]…” – As stated before, we all have other engagements. Such remarks are not appreciated and should be reserved in the future.
“… but I have other tasks that are higher in priority…it’s called delegating task…” - If our group assignment is of a lower priority then your individual assignments, then it is still your responsibility to partake in group discussion. We all understand your position because all of us have other assignments to take care of as well. You are not alone in this respect. However, it is not an excuse to not come for group meetings. As for listing this group project as a lower priority, that is your choice and we as a group do not sympathize with you. If you require a lesser role in the group assignment to lighten your workload, such arrangements can be made for you. However prior notice must be made and clearly discussed with all group members. Prior notice on your situation would have been appreciated earlier on as well.
Please note that while we were talking to you via MSN, we were all not very pleased with your responses. They were found to be either unconstructively critical or just outright rude at some points.
If other team members can vouch otherwise, then clearly there has been some misunderstanding.
As a reply to your previous email, here are some points:
“I had previously proposed to W (once again, I should have proposed to the group) that everyone contribute to each section to the best of their ability and then to amalgamate the findings. That, I believe is the true nature of group work, everyone contributing to every part of the project and to be personally involved in every facet of the planning process.” – Unfortunately, none of this was discussed with the group and no provisions have been made for such a process. It might still be a durable method; however it is unlikely at this stage of the project, unless some facilitation on your part is in order, with agreement from other members. We all want to work productively and compromises should be made as we all have different ideas on what “the true nature of group work” is. That’s where the role of discussion comes in. If you have a view that you feel strongly about, please share it with us. It will not be ignored.
“I would like it to be known that I am not the only one guilty of mismanagement, if I am at all. The lack of a formal deadline and enforcement of deadlines have in part contributed to the sluggish performance of our group.” - If any mismanagement has occurred, it would have been appreciated that you stepped in at an earlier date; however there was no such action. If you required a formal dateline, which should have been brought up in group discussions, however, there was no such action. Please take this into account in future group meetings with us. As a group we have made an effort to organize meetings, allocate tasks and deadlines, however informal they seem. Your lack of hands-on involvement might have overshadowed this factor. The base line is that you didn’t turn up so you were not properly updated.
“In having said that, I do wish to remain a part of the group but the group must understand that they too must reevaluate their behavior and improve and should not attribute the woes of the assignment to me.” – It is unfair to assume any types of behavior on our part because you have not made an effort to know the group or even actively participate in group discussions. Cheekily, C who has turned up to most of the meetings, doesn't even know how you look like. We have not had any sufficient communication with you to have you draw any conclusions on our behavior. You turned up for 1 meeting and have sent us in total 6 emails. Admittedly, none of us know you as a group member, besides W who has taken it in her stride to keep you updated on the group meetings. For the record, no one is blaming you for any drawbacks in regards of the assignments and it would be inappropriate of you to feel this way. We are all working together as a team and our only concern is your lack of communication (and hence, it seems, your participation and commitment.)
I’d like to add that the group is happy to have you as a member as long as you abide to the group guidelines, however we will still reserve the right to exclude any member who proves to be a disadvantage to the group, particularly in terms of lack of participation and effort. We do value your input and take it into consideration, but you have to be more proactive in communicating with the group in the future.
You have listed some guidelines, concerning what you expect from the group. If you had any inking that it was otherwise, prior to the email concerning group membership and participation, you should have said something, so that we could have addressed them.
Hopefully this will be a final email on the matter. The issue brought up to address group participation has been resolved with you addressing the group’s concerns, and we are grateful for that.
No further discussion on this matter should be entertained unless proved vital to the progress of the project.
If you have any further concerns with this action, it would be more productive to take it up with the convenor of this unit, as the group would rather concentrate on the project.
Regards K (on behalf of T, C, Y, W and Myself)
Email B2:
I have been misquoted with a little creative license in many of those msn exchanges but I accept that you misconstrue it as rude and unproductive. As with all non face to face communication there is an opportunity for error in interpretation. For the record I genuinely was asking about the progress of that meeting when I said 'fruits of that labour'. I'm sorry that you didn't understand that phrase and next time should speak in plain English.
What I meant by reevaluting your behavour is that this is not my problem alone. I had been to two meetings and haven't met C either. It was a matter of timing. I was rather frustrated at the sluggish progress of the assignment and thus request that those guidelines that you imposed on me should be reciprocated.
This clearly is a moot point. You feel that my communication 'style' is unacceptable and I think after 2 emails of you hammering that in I get the point. I am not incapable of the work and it is more than within my capability to do the tasks. So therefore I will work on my 'communication style' and you will actually produce some tangible work. Team work is a give and take relationship. As a final note, when do you propose the next meeting be? I've let W know my availabilities and I'll state them here again. I cannot do the weekends but I can do Monday afternoon.
F.C.
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Supposedly the correspondence ended here but I just have to say that F.C. is pretty arrogant. It would have been much more gracious of her to take the issues brought up to heart and agree that the group required better management and guidlelines and that they should all take it into consideration in the future, insided of wasting her time defending herself against the draw up guide lines. Sometimes it’s easier to save face and settle rather then to stir up shit and make your project partners wary of you.
I found the correspondence hilarious, much on the part of F.C. grasping at straws to try and save face. She didn't even defend herself systematically, conviniently avoiding to address any issues she had no hope in hell of finding an excuse for. Hopefully she's not seeking a profession in Law (Future law-breakers beware not to employ anyone with the intials F.C. - you just might be spending more time behind bars! She used the term 'moot' which is a common term in law studies).
Who is she to avocate what team work is "as a give and take" if she hasn't made any effort to 'give' in terms of what her group mates require of her? We're not talking about one particular group mate with a vendetta against her. Apparently her WHOLE group thinks that she's being difficult. A consenus would indicate that yea.. THE PROBLEM IS REALLY HER! Why would anyone bother writing up an ultimatum like that if SHE wasn't the problem? I think K was nice enough not to point out too many of her errors. (Mum always says that we shouldn't "wise-up" the perpetually stupid.) It amazes me how she still doesn't accept any responsibitliy for her actions or actively try to make arrangements with the other group members.
Additionally, I do not believe that most convenors would get involved in mediation or a conflict resolution of this sort. It is kind of strange that she would assume otherwise.
Unfortunately, the moral of the story is that we all will come across F.C.- Type people in our lives and that they are not only hard to deal with but take up alot of valuable energy and time in the process of their selfishness and unwillingness to communicate their needs. But I have to wonder if why the initials F.C. was used to represent this character. Does it stand for Fucking Cunt or something? Because that would be rather suitable don’t you think?
Early one morning I came across a correspondence via my mailbox with the following attachments in it. As I read it, I couldn’t help but decide to post this rather strange junk email up on my blog.
This all started with an ultimatum from a group of university students (T,C,Y,W,K )to a certain member of their team (F. C.) who has been consistently not turning up to the group meetings, (apparently) independently working at the project task on her own without keeping her project mates updated on her progress and just being plain and outright defensive with her opinions.
This is a correspondence of the ultimatum. I’ll let you make up your own minds. Email A – T,C,Y,W,K, Email B – F.C.
-------------
Email A1:
As we all know, the presentation is on next week on Wednesday and that the final project is due at the end of the semester (in week 12). As a group we feel that interaction and communication is a must and that the face to face meetings are very important. Every one of us has taken time out of our busy schedule to come to these meetings. We are all aware that we have responsibilities outside of this project, such as work and other assignments, however we try to be as flexible as possible to accommodate to the individual needs of our group mates. I propose that given the current circumstances that it would be appropriate for F.C. to reconsider her group membership with us, if she continues to be unavailable to the meetings, as sole communication via email is rather unacceptable, if not difficult to carry out due to the nature of the project. The rest of the group members feel that these terms are acceptable as we all find that the meetings are highly productive and a key element to the success of the project.
Since the presentation is only days away, it would be fair to say that F.C.’s exclusion from the group at this point of time would be inconsiderate and unfair. However, she should consider joining another group for the final project that will better accommodate her needs and her schedule.
This email has been sent out to all the group members, as well as June Buchanan (the unit convenor). However F.C. in particular should take into consideration if she would like to continue membership with this group. It should be noted that continuing membership will mean:
- showing up to meetings
- being supportive and respectful of other members
- showing initiative and productivity
- taking responsibility
- coordinating group member schedules and work task
If these terms can be achieved and met, F.C. is more than welcome to continue working with us on the final project.
All members should be aware that she has until Xth April, 6pm via mass email to inform all members of her decision. If no reply is received by then, it will automatically be regarded that she is seeking membership with another group for the final project, but still participating in the upcoming presentation.
Regards
T,C,Y,W,K
Email B1:
I would like to address some of the accusations levelled against me. Furthermore I do not see how this can be resolved between us if it is a simple he says, she says argument and thus would like June Buchanan to be the mediator in this discussion. A copy has been forwarded to her.
showing up to meetings - I was able to attend the earlier meetings, meetings at which more than half the group were absent and from those meetings I concluded that they were ineffective and a mismanagement of time. However, this opinion may change if there actually is evidence of the fruitfulness of these endeavours. From what has been reported back to me it took a substantial amount of time to just allocate parts. I did not advocate email being the sole communication method by which to contact my group members. What I was advocating was regular communication via email as there was a lack of reply to any of the emails I sent. In the times that I asked questions, no one answered me or offered assistances or clarification. I told W that I could not make this Sunday for dress rehearsals and recommended the change to Monday. I am not uncompromising or unreasonable but if a person genuinely cannot be at a certain place at a certain time it should not be held against them. As a compromise I will endeavour to make every single meeting you set from now on, however, you must take into consideration that I do have outside committments, especially at night, (I have 1-2 chiropractic sessions a week) and that I do not always have access to transportation.
being supportive and respectful of other members - As far as I can tell I have been supportive and respectful of members. I think this accusation is rather unfair as there have been no instances of unsupportive behaviour or disrespect. I would like to know what these accusations are based on so that I can reflect and reevaluate the behaviour that you so deem to be unsupportive and disrespectful.
showing initiative and productivity Whilst I have not been physically available at the meetings I have not been sitting idly. In fact whilst you were at the meeting I was analysising Blackmores financial reports in order to write the situational analysis, PEST analysis and market analysis. I was motivated in the most part to start the rest of the assignment because the lack of communication between group members as to the progress of their assigned section. If that is not initiative then I do not know what is. Productivity is not only measured by attendance at meetings. Furthermore I had started the presentation and translating it into a power point presentation before this meeting. I was told that K had done a lot of work on this (and I applaud him for doing so) as opposed to the perceived lack of work on my part, however, I was rather surprised to see that Kentaro's work was mainly just a summary of chapter 10, which I had already done. Therefore if productivity and initiative is measured against such standards then I do not believe that I have failed as in every respect I have been able to match the group.
taking responsibility I believe that by going ahead and starting the rest of the assignment I am taking responsibility. Instead of waiting for allocation of my parts, which I do not wholly agree with, I have done research into two markets worthy of consideration. Once again I do not know where this accusation comes from and the least you could do is to tell me what I have done that you feel is irresponsible. coordinating group member schedules and work task From the offset I did not agree with allocation of parts and breaking the assignment into individual tasks for individuals. I believe this method makes the whole plan incoherent and harder to integrate. I must admit that I did not let my concerns be known at the time but believed that once people did not deliver on time then we would see the error in doing that. I had previously proposed to W (once again, I should have proposed to the group) that everyone contribute to each section to the best of their ability and then to amalgamate the findings. That, I believe is the true nature of group work, everyone contributing to every part of the project and to be personally involved in every facet of the planning process. Arguably this might not work in a large company, but currently I do not believe that one single person in our group specialises in any particular field such as for example marketing research and thus believe that in this setting it would work.
I would like it to be known that I am not the only one guilty of mismanagement, if I am at all. The lack of a formal deadline and enforcement of deadlines have in part contributed to the sluggish performance of our group.
In having said that, I do wish to remain a part of the group but the group must understand that they too must reevaluate their behaviour and improve and should not attribute the woes of the assignment to me.
Moreover I hope that the group will not employ double standards and:
support and respect me
perform to the best of their ability in meeting deadlines
maintain a high quality of work show initiative
If these conditions are met then I believe we will have a harmonious working relationship for the rest of the semester.
I, in turn would like a reply from the group members by Xth of April 6pm via mass email. If any of the members would like to discuss this with me further, please call me on
F.C.
Email A2:
Dear F.C.
I understand that you took the previous email harshly. However, if you do accept the standing terms requested, then we can all expect to work harmoniously for this project.
Please note that the terms of agreement stated were not framed as accusations towards you but were merely guidelines that group members should abide to while in this project. I apologize if you took it as otherwise.
You have however
1) Failed to keep the group informed about your progress, choosing to leave W to inform us of your doings. W is not responsible for keeping us updated, you are. Additionally, though you have participated in the group via emails, admittedly each group member, on average, have only received 6 emails from you (averaging 1 a week, which has not generated much of a response due to the preferred nature of face to face discussion), as opposed to other group members showing up for 4 meetings (each approximately 2 hours long, today’s meeting was 5 hours long), discussing the contents of your emails as well.
2) Have been uncommunicative to the group as a whole about your schedule, participation and availability
3) Your communication style has been blunt and condescending, causing a lot of friction amongst group members.
Over a msn session with the group members via W’s account, several of us tried to discuss the assignment with you. These were some of the replies you gave us (to approximation):
“So you guys are making me do the Powerpoints, I guess that the price I pay for not coming along to meetings” – You make it sound like we’re shoving punishment at you, but delegating Powerpoint work to you. You weren’t there to make decisions with us about task work in the first place; neither did you nominate yourself for particular task work prior to meetings. There should be no negativity on your part as to which task you are allocated if you decided not to be part of the discussion process.
“Unlike some other people who go to uni and their lives revolves around their friends, I have things to do” – Understandably, We all have things to do. Is this not an accusation on your part that we, the rest of the group who can make it to meetings are people who just have lives that revolves around our friends?
“It is a waste of time to meet up for meetings. It is more productive if we just worked from home. [Directed at C] What kind of fruitful contribution have you made to the presentation? Decide on what everyone’s contribution is. Decide on what we are going to do in the meetings then come talk to me. Otherwise you’re just wasting my time and being unproductive.” – It is your responsibility to take part in the delegation and task scheduling. If you do not communicate with us about what you want, we will not know. If you do not communicate with us what you want out of the meetings, we will not know. You are not only wasting your time, but our time as well, because we do not know what you want and what you expect from us. Thus you are making the group unproductive by not participating in our discussions. As a group we take the initiative to communicate with each other, no one individual should have to “come talk to” you after a discussion. You should “come talk” to us as a group. If you feel that our group meetings amount to nothing, and are a waste of time, please by all means come and mediate them, no one would oppose to it. We look forward to your participation
“I’m busy unlike other people [referring to the group]…” – As stated before, we all have other engagements. Such remarks are not appreciated and should be reserved in the future.
“… but I have other tasks that are higher in priority…it’s called delegating task…” - If our group assignment is of a lower priority then your individual assignments, then it is still your responsibility to partake in group discussion. We all understand your position because all of us have other assignments to take care of as well. You are not alone in this respect. However, it is not an excuse to not come for group meetings. As for listing this group project as a lower priority, that is your choice and we as a group do not sympathize with you. If you require a lesser role in the group assignment to lighten your workload, such arrangements can be made for you. However prior notice must be made and clearly discussed with all group members. Prior notice on your situation would have been appreciated earlier on as well.
Please note that while we were talking to you via MSN, we were all not very pleased with your responses. They were found to be either unconstructively critical or just outright rude at some points.
If other team members can vouch otherwise, then clearly there has been some misunderstanding.
As a reply to your previous email, here are some points:
“I had previously proposed to W (once again, I should have proposed to the group) that everyone contribute to each section to the best of their ability and then to amalgamate the findings. That, I believe is the true nature of group work, everyone contributing to every part of the project and to be personally involved in every facet of the planning process.” – Unfortunately, none of this was discussed with the group and no provisions have been made for such a process. It might still be a durable method; however it is unlikely at this stage of the project, unless some facilitation on your part is in order, with agreement from other members. We all want to work productively and compromises should be made as we all have different ideas on what “the true nature of group work” is. That’s where the role of discussion comes in. If you have a view that you feel strongly about, please share it with us. It will not be ignored.
“I would like it to be known that I am not the only one guilty of mismanagement, if I am at all. The lack of a formal deadline and enforcement of deadlines have in part contributed to the sluggish performance of our group.” - If any mismanagement has occurred, it would have been appreciated that you stepped in at an earlier date; however there was no such action. If you required a formal dateline, which should have been brought up in group discussions, however, there was no such action. Please take this into account in future group meetings with us. As a group we have made an effort to organize meetings, allocate tasks and deadlines, however informal they seem. Your lack of hands-on involvement might have overshadowed this factor. The base line is that you didn’t turn up so you were not properly updated.
“In having said that, I do wish to remain a part of the group but the group must understand that they too must reevaluate their behavior and improve and should not attribute the woes of the assignment to me.” – It is unfair to assume any types of behavior on our part because you have not made an effort to know the group or even actively participate in group discussions. Cheekily, C who has turned up to most of the meetings, doesn't even know how you look like. We have not had any sufficient communication with you to have you draw any conclusions on our behavior. You turned up for 1 meeting and have sent us in total 6 emails. Admittedly, none of us know you as a group member, besides W who has taken it in her stride to keep you updated on the group meetings. For the record, no one is blaming you for any drawbacks in regards of the assignments and it would be inappropriate of you to feel this way. We are all working together as a team and our only concern is your lack of communication (and hence, it seems, your participation and commitment.)
I’d like to add that the group is happy to have you as a member as long as you abide to the group guidelines, however we will still reserve the right to exclude any member who proves to be a disadvantage to the group, particularly in terms of lack of participation and effort. We do value your input and take it into consideration, but you have to be more proactive in communicating with the group in the future.
You have listed some guidelines, concerning what you expect from the group. If you had any inking that it was otherwise, prior to the email concerning group membership and participation, you should have said something, so that we could have addressed them.
Hopefully this will be a final email on the matter. The issue brought up to address group participation has been resolved with you addressing the group’s concerns, and we are grateful for that.
No further discussion on this matter should be entertained unless proved vital to the progress of the project.
If you have any further concerns with this action, it would be more productive to take it up with the convenor of this unit, as the group would rather concentrate on the project.
Regards K (on behalf of T, C, Y, W and Myself)
Email B2:
I have been misquoted with a little creative license in many of those msn exchanges but I accept that you misconstrue it as rude and unproductive. As with all non face to face communication there is an opportunity for error in interpretation. For the record I genuinely was asking about the progress of that meeting when I said 'fruits of that labour'. I'm sorry that you didn't understand that phrase and next time should speak in plain English.
What I meant by reevaluting your behavour is that this is not my problem alone. I had been to two meetings and haven't met C either. It was a matter of timing. I was rather frustrated at the sluggish progress of the assignment and thus request that those guidelines that you imposed on me should be reciprocated.
This clearly is a moot point. You feel that my communication 'style' is unacceptable and I think after 2 emails of you hammering that in I get the point. I am not incapable of the work and it is more than within my capability to do the tasks. So therefore I will work on my 'communication style' and you will actually produce some tangible work. Team work is a give and take relationship. As a final note, when do you propose the next meeting be? I've let W know my availabilities and I'll state them here again. I cannot do the weekends but I can do Monday afternoon.
F.C.
-------------
Supposedly the correspondence ended here but I just have to say that F.C. is pretty arrogant. It would have been much more gracious of her to take the issues brought up to heart and agree that the group required better management and guidlelines and that they should all take it into consideration in the future, insided of wasting her time defending herself against the draw up guide lines. Sometimes it’s easier to save face and settle rather then to stir up shit and make your project partners wary of you.
I found the correspondence hilarious, much on the part of F.C. grasping at straws to try and save face. She didn't even defend herself systematically, conviniently avoiding to address any issues she had no hope in hell of finding an excuse for. Hopefully she's not seeking a profession in Law (Future law-breakers beware not to employ anyone with the intials F.C. - you just might be spending more time behind bars! She used the term 'moot' which is a common term in law studies).
Who is she to avocate what team work is "as a give and take" if she hasn't made any effort to 'give' in terms of what her group mates require of her? We're not talking about one particular group mate with a vendetta against her. Apparently her WHOLE group thinks that she's being difficult. A consenus would indicate that yea.. THE PROBLEM IS REALLY HER! Why would anyone bother writing up an ultimatum like that if SHE wasn't the problem? I think K was nice enough not to point out too many of her errors. (Mum always says that we shouldn't "wise-up" the perpetually stupid.) It amazes me how she still doesn't accept any responsibitliy for her actions or actively try to make arrangements with the other group members.
Additionally, I do not believe that most convenors would get involved in mediation or a conflict resolution of this sort. It is kind of strange that she would assume otherwise.
Unfortunately, the moral of the story is that we all will come across F.C.- Type people in our lives and that they are not only hard to deal with but take up alot of valuable energy and time in the process of their selfishness and unwillingness to communicate their needs. But I have to wonder if why the initials F.C. was used to represent this character. Does it stand for Fucking Cunt or something? Because that would be rather suitable don’t you think?
Sunday, March 12, 2006
"Sitting At the Zap-Zing Table"
My goodness! There was so much to eat at his birthday dinner i'm surprised i didn't burst open. tried to read some manga on the way home on the train but i was kinda pissed.
Ho-De-Hum hum
I realise that i'm addicted to my platform shoes. I've been wearing them since forever and though i have normal shoes now, i still have this childhood love for my platform shoes. Guess i wont have to tack up the hem of some of my overly long jeans just yet. it's weird because i know that all my clothes are kinda 'outdated' but in many ways, they were never really 'in' in the first place.
My goodness! There was so much to eat at his birthday dinner i'm surprised i didn't burst open. tried to read some manga on the way home on the train but i was kinda pissed.
Ho-De-Hum hum
I realise that i'm addicted to my platform shoes. I've been wearing them since forever and though i have normal shoes now, i still have this childhood love for my platform shoes. Guess i wont have to tack up the hem of some of my overly long jeans just yet. it's weird because i know that all my clothes are kinda 'outdated' but in many ways, they were never really 'in' in the first place.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
"Sabby in Friendster Space"
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
sabby gets abused on friendster
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
some ppl have too much time
/// says:
abused??
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i dont read them anymore
/// says:
who the!!!
/// says:
people are just jealous
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
typical scenario: some guy reads my profile
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
sends me a smile or some stupid msg
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
and i'll write back like "hi thank. that's interesting."
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
highly impersonal
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
they read it get upset that it wasn't what they were expecting back
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
write blah blah you're pretencious, you write bad, you're this, you're that...
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
it's so obvious what they are feeling
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
poor little man got his feelings hurt by sabby cuz sabby doesn't care!
/// says:
lol
/// says:
its better just to not reply
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
part of me feels abused
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
like why the hell would someone write something like that to me
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i make an effort to reply to everyone
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
and they just give me shit like it's some invitation to abuse me
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
blah
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
the world is full of assholes
/// says:
true ...
/// says:
so what are you going to do now? still replying?
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i admit most of the time when ppl send me smiles now i just ignore them cuz i have nothing to say
/// says:
smiles are lame
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
just erm.. "thanks?"
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i know eh.. dont know why they invented them
/// says:
its such a hassle to reply anyway
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i sorta feel that if ppl are nice enough to write to me
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
even if it's nothing i'll reply back anyways?
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
like i'm not a nasty person. i dont ignore ppl.
/// says:
well thats true
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
and if the conversation just trickles into nothing.. that's cool too
/// says:
okay fair enough
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
but at least i'm like.. yea i read it.. cool..
Be Nice, Pay the Price
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
sabby gets abused on friendster
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
some ppl have too much time
/// says:
abused??
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i dont read them anymore
/// says:
who the!!!
/// says:
people are just jealous
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
typical scenario: some guy reads my profile
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
sends me a smile or some stupid msg
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
and i'll write back like "hi thank. that's interesting.
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
highly impersonal
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
they read it get upset that it wasn't what they were expecting back
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
write blah blah you're pretencious, you write bad, you're this, you're that...
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
it's so obvious what they are feeling
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
poor little man got his feelings hurt by sabby cuz sabby doesn't care!
/// says:
lol
/// says:
its better just to not reply
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
part of me feels abused
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
like why the hell would someone write something like that to me
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i make an effort to reply to everyone
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
and they just give me shit like it's some invitation to abuse me
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
blah
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
the world is full of assholes
/// says:
true ...
/// says:
so what are you going to do now? still replying?
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i admit most of the time when ppl send me smiles now i just ignore them cuz i have nothing to say
/// says:
smiles are lame
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
just erm.. "thanks?"
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i know eh.. dont know why they invented them
/// says:
its such a hassle to reply anyway
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
i sorta feel that if ppl are nice enough to write to me
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
even if it's nothing i'll reply back anyways?
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
like i'm not a nasty person. i dont ignore ppl.
/// says:
well thats true
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
and if the conversation just trickles into nothing.. that's cool too
/// says:
okay fair enough
Sabriel Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
but at least i'm like.. yea i read it.. cool..
Friday, February 24, 2006
"The Misappropriated Bunny"
Saturday, February 18, 2006
