"Shopping and Therapy"
Spent a day with my friend Ying today. Thinks she wants to be known as Autumn or Hazel or something to that effect. I'm not to sure.
We had coffee at Meeks Cafe - one of those humble establishments that make good cheap cafe food. I had an ice chocolate and a chicken Satay foccacia.
She started telling me about her life and that she was going to therapy ( paying $80 bucks an hour mine you) and that she wasn't diagnosed with anything but just needed someone to talk to. I've been on the other side of the therapy chair way too many time to appreciate a shrink. I've been listening to problems and helping people through personal issues for so long it has become second nature to me as to how to react when people come to me with their problems. Which brings me to something very interesting. I don't and can't comprehend how hard it is for other people to listen to your problems. I've been on the receiving end of a lot of crappy empathy as well. more like no empathy. but to go into it would be bringing up some rather bad memories of my parents. so here is goes:
It was during my parent's visit and they had upset me so much that I had to leave the house. I went over to a friend's place and wanted to rant and all she said was something along these lines:
"I can't empathize with you."
"If you don't like them as them to leave."
"People can tell me their problems but I can never tell them my problems."
"Different people are different."
Oh the stupidity of humanity..... and yes, I think most people aren't equipped to listen to other people. SO here's a BIG tip, when someone wants to rant or has a problem, don't be too ready to give your own personal opinion. Listen and ask questions. rather then force your initial feelings about the troubled person's predicament onto the rant-er, ask questions and draw that person's emotions out. Listen and ask appropriate questions. if you have ever been to a professional counselor you would know that all they do is ask questions and make you feel special by listening. though that may not be literally ALL that they do, they are trained to listen and lead you to reflect on your troubles and help you draw your own decisions. Maybe if more of us conduct ourselves with more compassion and understanding it would save the people around us from spending $80 an hour just to pour their souls out.
Traditionally, I don't and have yet to start charging for my spiritual counseling sessions. though naturally, I am aiming towards a more conventional profession in that field and broaden my cliental to paying customers. I don't know if I really want to do that yet but it is in the works. sometimes people do get suspicious when you don't want them to pay once you offer to help them for free. I guess that's just the way humans are.
On that notion of making money from spiritual counseling, I just bought the "standard" Rider-Waite Tarot because it's one of the more recognized decks used in formally accessing tarot readers - I'm considering joining an established Australian tarot guild. Having been into Tarot for a few years now, I'm rather reluctant to use this particular deck as I have always used decks that have naturally "spoke" to me. This particular deck has never "naturally spoken" to me or rather I have never given it the chance. Maybe I'm not much of a traditionalist. I'll take it has a challenge to study, understand it and use it.
"Parental Love"
It's been a while since I last ranted. Basically I've been busy sorting out my life. About a month ago, my parents came to visit me. Needless to say, Hell soon followed. I rather not go into details because most of it has been already stored as repressed memories. Their visit was peppered with me calling up my sisters and friends for support in the middle of the night when both mum and dad had me to the brink and over with tears. I don't know what it is that parents do to their kids and I don't know why I make them feel like bad parents. I can't help myself and it's all unintentional so my solution is the lesser the contact with mine the better. Some people just can't get along as individuals. I'm not say that my parents are bad people. it's just that we can't make things work.
Dad has some weird way of putting me down and I have my strange sense in integrity to not let it get to me. Mum has her crazy mood swings and takes it out on everyone.
The highlight of their visit was dad calling me a tart and then ( sometime later) hitting me across the face. And it didn't stop there. In a fit of rage, he stomped out of my rented apartment and sat in his car (the car he borrowed from his bother to drive around while he was in the country) for over 2 hours. Mum later persuaded me to go down to him and apologize ( for whatever reason - I still don't know up to this day) to him and make him come up. after much resistance he finally did. Whatever. So I waited and waited for them to get out of my life. Don't get me wrong I love my parents - no matter how much they abuse me. Hey if he had hit me again, I would have ran so fast to the nearest police station he won't have known what hit him. But DAD is DAD and that didn't happen.
And so I guess that sums up all the trauma I've been through and have been trying to get over without having to go into too much detail.
