"Anything to Make Me Feel Alive"

I took a nap. I woke up, surfed and took a nap. It feels like chronic fatigue, but I dont think i'll add that to my list of reasons as to why I'm biologically fucked.

I'm not doing this for attention. Heck, Most people dont even know about it. Though the bandage looks kinda cool. I dont want scars. I hate scars.

I know it's not right to cut myself. This is day four - phase 2. I have decided not to pick up the blade today. Though, having it close is some comfort. I feel sick. I wish I was normal again - whatever that was.

I want to climb out of this hole. I feel the light though. I keep a seperate journal. I stopped writing in it a while back. The pages are running out. My darkest thoughts fill its insides - "The Confessions".

I'm hurting. I want to scream but my voice is muffled. It's emotional paralysis. I want to stop crying.
  ¶ 5/09/2004 01:27:00 PM