"The Borders of the Vertical Oasis"
He said that we'd talk next week. I dont remember him saying that. he didn't say it. He did. I dont know anymore.
I wake up hungry. I go to sleep. Morpheus is as big as a horse.
Nothing makes sense. I know things that aren't true. Who is this? Where am i? There are not explainations, only death. Only death.
I dont want to be there. I dont want to be here. I dont want anything. My head is about to explode. I'm no longer me. I want to die. I want to bleed. I want my pills. I want the pain to end. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care.
He turns away.
Stab.
I've fallen.
Angels drag me back into my cell.
There is no escape.
I see his photograph before me.
Do not mock me! Get out of my system... You see the blood? It's really pus. I'm pus. I'm nothing. Yes. Hurt me. Drive it through me... My only wish is to be slayed. Die in your arms. I love you. I love you. I love you...
There is only one paradise i know of and it is under his skin. I do not want to sleep. It is there that reality is real. I grind my teeth till all i taste is my bloodied gums.
Help me.
I bang my head. i bang my wrists. The bars of my cage are made of razors. Cut me. Cut me.
If only he was here to hold me. Bundle me in a sheet. I'd fall asleep, listening to the sound of our hearts, beating as one. As it should. It was suppose to be. As it should be. Now all i have is the drowning, the screamings, the pain, the blood, the horror, the waking dreams, the voices, the madness, the me.
There is nothing more to look forward to. I've run out of happiness, I've ran out of peace.
Just keep holding me for a while. I'd like fall asleep.
You are the shepard, but I am not and can never be one of your sheep.
