"The King of Dreams"

The voices are back. I thought i'd lost them for good. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what i will do to myself. I'm trapped i this nightmare and can't wake up.

Help me. Someone.

Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Pain. They are beyond me.

I know there is no truth.

I'm lost in this darkness and i can't escape. My burden is heavy and i drag my body through this desert, scrapping my skin against the jagged edges of conventional reality. There is no saving me. I want to die.

I tired to stop the pain, but i came back. I filled my arms with the king of dreams and he pulled me back from the edge. But how long is this going to last? How long before his hold on me wanes?
His innocences and purity fading into nothingness like everything else. I am not his guardian. I am not his guide. He is my servant as i am his slave.

I hunger again for blood. He knows nothing of my desires. Regal and gentle, he touches my brow and calms me.

There is still time. His eyes speak to me. Into me.

I'm dying inside myself. I can smell the decay. I throw up my loneliness and bile in my escape in dreams.

Stop the voices. Drain out my evils. Make me better. Make me whole. I am nothing.

It is not about love. This is not about anyone else. The voices need to be stopped. They are not real.

Cut me again. Let the evil flood out of my body and into the darkness. I dont want to know. I dont want to hear my own screams.
  ¶ 5/25/2004 07:56:00 PM