"Cold Desolation"

Can't make sense of anything and everything. I have a stack of bills that i reduse to pay until the day of which they are due. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of all this beaurcacy. I'm trapped in a world runned by paper pushers and computers that dont know how i feel. I dont want to touch money. I dont want credit cards. I dont want anything to touch me.

I just want out of this pain.

Why can't things be simplier. Why can't the noise just stop. I'm falling deeper and i can't stop myself. The walls are falling and crumbling onto me. i'm being buried alive. I'm not like anyone else... i feel like a monster. I feel like all that was human in me has vanished... maybe it was never there in the first place. Maybe, i've managed to come to terms with not pretending anymore.

I'm overwhelmed by the voices.

I can't stop.

I want everything to stop.

I want this pain to stop.
  ¶ 6/11/2004 04:30:00 PM