"Depraved Angelic Presense"
I look at the dents in my skin.
Slice. Slice. Slice.
They are healing now. I remember the blood. The scent of pain. I wish i was there now, but i do not dare venture into that realm, because i'm afriad that i might not return this time.
I sense a time bomb inside me. I know it will eventually explode. If i slip up, if i do not control myself, i will destroy myself.
Is it human to do so?
Am i abnormal? A monster? A contrust of dellusion and malmanufacture? I can only say i do not want to be this way, but prehaps, that is what is causings me to want to go.
There a secret that i cannot tell. I dare not confess it to myself or the ones i love. In a sense, i do not know what it truly is. It exist only as a babble between my conscious and unconscious self, somewhere between sleeping and waking. There i know, it lies like a sleeping beast.
This beast grunts in its sleep. Plumes of posionous gaseous smells escapes its body. I purge it. Vomit and bile. Blood. Thick and acylic. This is not me. Away! Away!
It sickens me. I am indeed going mad. The beast claws at my inner being. There is nothing left.
I am not my own, but a parasite now. A mitochrondric eve. Adam denies me. We do not even exist. Monkeys and apes. Primates who are in search of a dream. This womb gives me the right to be eve. I denouce my eggs. I denouce my blood. Deny me again and i shall forget this human that i am. This shell is still human. She bleeds.
Away...
I cannot look at you, or myself.
I have felt too much pain and I am afraid. Afraid.
