"Inadequate"

How can I blame you when I've fallen so far from your graces? I reach out into the emptiness, only to find ash and stardust. A flicker of your golden light and I know that I'm headed a zillion miles down into my own despair. Could you not have held me a little longer and whisper more lies into my ears. Could you not have choked me to death, as you held me down and entered my desecrated temple. I said goodbye to the world, while still bleeding in your arms and you cast me aside like i was nothing. I'm still nothing to you.

I dont know how i should feel. Your hate inside my belly eats me inside out. I hate you. At the end of the night, when the harshest sun burns my skin, i shall die with my hand in yours. I know i will reach you someday, some way. I die tonight. I've died every night after i've fallen out of my heaven, your embrace.
  ¶ 8/02/2004 05:16:00 PM