"Infestation"
In the dark exhausted and isolated, in a corner you have trapped me in your perception. Unable to fight you, i succumb to a bleaker desolation. My lips are sewn together with heartstrings bleeding. The theater in my mind, the place where you'd love me the way you could've, where every moment would never been spend on hating. We'd love each other in silent resolution. I shut out the world as i pleasure you remembering better days. I am your whore today.
Swallowing up my world inside myself, choked with sand and shards of glass, thoughts of realities invade my privacy and i am again lost without anyone to run to.
Your weariness pains me. My clockwork unable to compromise to your undertoll. Just use me and be done with it. Leave me to remember a better time and place, as i disappear under the sheets, shunting from your eyes, your face that seems to judge me indefinitely as a monsterous child with not control.
There is no longer an open channel. A medium for me to voice my frustrations. Instead, I destroy myself bit by bit. Drunk on your drugs and juices, not wanting to face your perception, i scream in silence, in pain and destruction.
In protest and contempt, i sit by you as you abuse my character, my morales, a pleasure tool for your unsoothed ego. I have no where to run in this darkness i find myself in.
A stranger towards me, i cannot bring myself to feel anything for this shell. A moment in your arms and i have fallen to peices, not wanting to be touched by an alien power that i swore i did not want. It was never my choice to be here.
I never wanted to change you. I never wanted to be in the way. I never wanted your sarcifice. I could survive this on my own, until you realise the truth of your desires.
Did you miss me when i disappeared? Why did you end up hating me when i did. The inevitable came and you could not deal with it. Uncared for by you, i morphed into what i needed to survive. I was never the one with "the life" that kept me on my toes. I know i have no place nor right to be, to ask, to want you.
When your life ends and the sun sets, do not blame me if i am dead, waiting for you in sober rejection, in the bed you promised our future in. Cold and untouched.
