"Wake Up, Hold Still"
Trying to stay in control, emotions run rapid and wild in my constraints. The High hits me gently, and my mind slips into her box unwilling to explore all that i have tried to hold hostage for so very long. The spin-spin seduce my eyes. Even though it's no long there, i can still see it. I tell myself that it's better this way. I wont have to pretend. Close your eyes and hold perfectly still. Master Users. I have only so much to tell. I have only so much that i can say. Freak. Murderer. Goddess.
Pop. Snap. Pop. Snap. Pop.
He places his hand on my thigh. I remember his scent.
Some paper would help.
A shoulder earlier on. Her scent.
Push.
Stay perfectly still.
Arms.
Insecurity.
I need a hug.
Hold me.
I feel needy. The lights and sounds make me happy. I'm glad to be here. I dont want to be alone anymore. I'm frustrated that he's taking me away from happy land. We cuddle somewhere at the bar. I'm feeling nasty on the inside. Warm and fuzzy on the outside. We should go home. Soon.
Spray. Stop. Go.
Go. Go. Go.
I feel like i should stop. My hands tell me to give way. Lean on someone. Stay quiet and still. Kiss me?
Hold my hand.
I dont want to go.
Drift. A trip.
Are we still there? Are we really home? Why are they looking at us? Why are they touching me?
No. My receptors are fucked. Loose data is floating around in my head. I'm found. Come here. Hold me.
Blind. Colours. Tripping.
I need comfort. This is alien to me. I cannot breathe. Hit me again. Hit me again. No stop.
Now it's going away.
His tongue in my mouth. Sensual and smooth. Can it be that i've found my equal at last?
I'm alone. Hold me. Hold me. They are all laughing at us! at me? Help....
Bad tripping, Good trip. I wanted to fall into bed with you guys...Cuddles are nice. I like cuddles.
Fix it. Fix it. I'm trying to forget the pain.
Did you not want me, the way i wanted you?