"The Actor I Have to Protect"

I close my eyes and i feel you here. Cannot love. Cannot hold. How uncertain are these emotions. How futile and how it shifts when evoked. Did thoughts of me dance through your mind and did it fade when the smoke faded out of your system?

Must be brave and i have to hold on. Silence my allure to your heart. In a cage. I have been placed by my self to protect all that we have on our own.

Peices of you still lingers with me and in the dark i craddle it gently. I have to lie. I have to act. I cannot be me when you're in the stakes. Protocol would never have me. I'll fade away in dreams of you but only when i know i'm safe from judgement and repulsion sourced from my own sense of being.

  ¶ 9/30/2004 10:59:00 PM