"This Pain Inside"
Over my skin and under your touch. I cannot forget your face, as loneliness surrounds me like a familiar friend. In solitude do I find myself, twisted and in pain.
You could never sympathize. My suffering is my own. Do not lie and say that you know how I feel, until you have been inside my skin. Your attempt cuts me hollow and I bleed insistent that you leave me to die. I rather be alone then in half your arms. I deserve more.
You say you know. You will never be me.
You say you understand. You do not even speak my language.
You say that we are alike. Do not comfort your courtship with strawberry varnish.
I never wanted you. I never had you.
Like a side dish. So like the others. Experience means shit to me, unless you think I'm like the others. If I am, please go, I'd never other you that way.
There is nothing here for you. You lied when you saw me. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you. I'm sorry I can't be normal. I'm not the girl you were looking for.
Your weak babble.
Your insecurities.
You never called me friend.
Did they leave so that they could be closer to you? Did they leave because you were you. I tried to rationalism. I have only come to understand them. Poor fool, I have become a statistic to you.
You blew her a kiss.
I saw you.
I could not care.
Sleep with her. Wait, you already have.
Care for her. Wait, you already do.
There's nothing wrong with that. Do not ask me stupid questions. Do not run to your girly conclusions.
Deny me. You already have. Do not bother to break the pattern.
I don't want to care. I don't want to see you either.
I turn away because your touch crawls on me like slime.
You seem more concern about her happiness than me.
It should be that way. After all, you sideline me so often that I feel like nothing to you. A mere distractions in your freedom. I once felt special. You make all your friends feel special. I wish it was my turn sometime soon.
Attribute and and run the psychoanalysis machine all you want. You will find nothing, but comfort for youself. Did you even care that i was alone, drowning constantly in my own poison. I can do that alone, without you. I dont need a asshole crying on the wayside, telling that i'm a bitch. You're jerk, tested and proven.
You forgot my birthday. You remembered everything else.
You left me a cold bed and I remember that I'm not part of your life.
Stick your dick here, and dump your emotional babble on me. That's why you found me. Just dont make a fool of yourself and tell me you know me.
I can only swallow what I have with sand and glass, hoping to bleed to death. It would be my pleasure to go.
