"It's Here Inside"

It hurts that i cannot see you. There's so much i want to say but i can't.

I wish you were him. Him - the other.

In my dreams i wished you were him.

In my bed, i wished you were him.

You were him a while ago, just as you are here now. You. I love you. I still do.

Help me break these chains. Would you know that you are him if i called out your name? Your fears at rest finally. I'd stay. I'd stay. You'd pushed me away.

As the realities unfolded upon each other, I am reminded of my hopeless want. i cannot say what he has done to me or made me feel. For a brief moment, i need you here with me. To tell me what is true again.

I hate myself for these feelings, for i can't say no to my illusions and needs. I'll take it all back if i could but i know better then you to call out your name or to betray myself and that moment i had with you.

A fear inside. Take me away.
  ¶ 10/15/2004 04:25:00 PM