"Thursday"
I can't feel anything anymore. The numbness is creeping over me like some cruel joke. I still see destiny right before me. There are paths that i know i should not follow. The goal is so near i can smell it. I hate myself. I hate this life. Why can't i just be stronger and be one with myself?
Another question. God, do i sicken myself. Love. Death. I Want. I Need. More. More. Don't stop this. I'm drowning inside this hallowness.
I've managed to run away. I've built something better. I'm still not satisfied. I would rather suffer in consistancy. I want to break out of here.
If only he was still here.
"When I was You and Me"
I want to tell you that i love you. Over and Over again. I freeze all the time. I can't make myself do it. You're so very far away. In a space where i'd love to be. In your bed, where everything is all clean and fresh. Your scent hangs in the air. All i have are your empty eyes, laughing at a joke i've long forgotten. Do you still think of me at all? Am i still remembered? I want you to see me. i want you to love me. This is all just a stupid dream. We'll betray so many people if it happened. I love you. I can't stop. I feel so small and alone here. I wish you'd come back and sweept me off your feet. I still remember your touch. I makes me happy. I wish we had a moment alone. I wish i could sit beside you on that balcony again, under the stars. Quiet and awkward. I was so happy there. Your tall wide frame next to me. You make feel insecure. I love you.
Please think of me. It'll make me smile.
