"Expressing: There is still nothing here"

Am i just me because i think that's were i am righ tnow? i'm not even sure if i am here? i feel like i'm falling into something bigger. A flirt with the truth. the drama plays out infront of me like a song. Have i waiting a bit too long for the nightmares to end? I am finally believing that this dream is real and that all my fears shall be realised in that brief instant when all things become clear. I shall be afraid of this new found gift. Afraid of knowning if all that time was wasted on something fickle and unclean. I feel dirty inside now. A closed door because i can never go back. I could never put things back the way they were. I remember crying as you flung yourself to the ground. It's not the same anymore. But there is still love and hope.
  ¶ 12/19/2005 11:40:00 PM