Under the Noctilcalitic Moon
Thursday, November 24, 2005
"In Need"
In need to type out something, to break all this silence
In need of light, because i'm afraid of the dark
In need to keep myself awake
In need of darkness, so i can get some sleep
In need of alternative fashion
In need of help. Please send money
In need of drugs. My brains going crazy
In need of addiction. My knitting needles are on a rampage
In need of art, because my brain has been so stagnant
In need of music, psychotones and inhibituation
In need of peace. Stop the Killings!
In need of riots. I'll fight for those who can't
In need of speed. Enough said.
In need of you, because i love you
In need to type out something, to break all this silence
In need of light, because i'm afraid of the dark
In need to keep myself awake
In need of darkness, so i can get some sleep
In need of alternative fashion
In need of help. Please send money
In need of drugs. My brains going crazy
In need of addiction. My knitting needles are on a rampage
In need of art, because my brain has been so stagnant
In need of music, psychotones and inhibituation
In need of peace. Stop the Killings!
In need of riots. I'll fight for those who can't
In need of speed. Enough said.
In need of you, because i love you
Thursday, November 17, 2005
"R U DUMB"
After Going to http://daemlich.net/2780 ---
The final cut... says:
I feel like dirt now
The final cut... says:
I am dumb
The final cut... says:
I am loser
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
hahahahah that was so funny
!
The final cut... says:
are you dumb? are you dumb? are you dumb
The final cut... says:
oh man
The final cut... says:
fantasttic
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
my boyfriend and i were laughing myself shitless all the way
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
well. he was laughing.. himself..
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
there was not shit..
The final cut... says:
thank god
After Going to http://daemlich.net/2780 ---
The final cut... says:
I feel like dirt now
The final cut... says:
I am dumb
The final cut... says:
I am loser
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
hahahahah that was so funny
!
The final cut... says:
are you dumb? are you dumb? are you dumb
The final cut... says:
oh man
The final cut... says:
fantasttic
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
my boyfriend and i were laughing myself shitless all the way
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
well. he was laughing.. himself..
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen� says:
there was not shit..
The final cut... says:
thank god
Monday, November 14, 2005
"Fear of God"
I just want to say that i know you love me more then anything. I think you're perfect. I think you're an angel sent from heaven. You're a true gentleman and the perfect companion. You're in control. You dont use people and you know when to push the limits. You're wonderful. You're beautiful. A true work of art. You always forgive and you never sell yourself out. You've always been true to yourself. Never boastful, always humble. You're intelligent and honest. You never lie about your emotions. You're a hero. You're pure goodness. You're never jealous and never possessive. You are never found in the trappings of sin. I know you promised that you'll never leave me...
I think I'm going to OD on chocolate now.. Nya!
I just want to say that i know you love me more then anything. I think you're perfect. I think you're an angel sent from heaven. You're a true gentleman and the perfect companion. You're in control. You dont use people and you know when to push the limits. You're wonderful. You're beautiful. A true work of art. You always forgive and you never sell yourself out. You've always been true to yourself. Never boastful, always humble. You're intelligent and honest. You never lie about your emotions. You're a hero. You're pure goodness. You're never jealous and never possessive. You are never found in the trappings of sin. I know you promised that you'll never leave me...
I think I'm going to OD on chocolate now.. Nya!
"The Depressed Girl"
I've come to meet alot of depressed people and i fear that i have not found anyone like me. Perhaps they could say the same. They willingly swallow down anti-depressants, lick their cuts and wounds, sit in the corner muttering under their breath and using anyone to make themselves feel better. Let them speak for themselves.
I don't. I live my life in my depression. It's my life. It's my lifestyle. I've come to accept that i am different and that the world is set up to tell me why my justifications are wrong. My duty to preserve myself, to save my life force is to look beyound these standards. I'm beautiful in my depression. I'm beautiful in the way i see through my darkness. No one can tell me that i'm wrong. They might groan and clutch their fists in frustration of/with me. Frustrated that i'm not like them. Frustrated that i'm not happy like them. Frustrated that i can't cope. Frustrated that they can't help me. Frustrated that they dont understand. I apologies for that. I apologies for all this pain, however, you're only frustrated because you can't empathise with me or look through my eyes.
In my depression... i'm afraid to say... the world looks rather dark and magickal. I'm like a soul trapped in the wrong body. Could you ever comprehend that? Why would you tell me that i've been mistaken. There are true miracles in this world. I'm not that special there are others who embrace this. Art has been created in depression. Can we not channel ourselves into the darkness. Switch the razors for paintbrushes. Switch the pills for poems. Stop telling me that it's wrong to want to kill myself. The thought consumes me. Sometimes it's even sick enough to make me laugh. The restrictions of society compell me to end my life. Stop these restrictions. Stop forcing me into a box i can no longer pack myself into. Be patient and love me. When my madness takes over, let me cry in your arms. Let me write you love songs or dance tragically. Just dont tell me what i'm feeling is irrational or inappropriate for that will surely drive me over the edge. Don't instituationalise me. Don't feed me medication. I'm just Beautifully Broken and hard to categories.
Dedicated to the depressed ones who have suffered, ODed and passed away
I've come to meet alot of depressed people and i fear that i have not found anyone like me. Perhaps they could say the same. They willingly swallow down anti-depressants, lick their cuts and wounds, sit in the corner muttering under their breath and using anyone to make themselves feel better. Let them speak for themselves.
I don't. I live my life in my depression. It's my life. It's my lifestyle. I've come to accept that i am different and that the world is set up to tell me why my justifications are wrong. My duty to preserve myself, to save my life force is to look beyound these standards. I'm beautiful in my depression. I'm beautiful in the way i see through my darkness. No one can tell me that i'm wrong. They might groan and clutch their fists in frustration of/with me. Frustrated that i'm not like them. Frustrated that i'm not happy like them. Frustrated that i can't cope. Frustrated that they can't help me. Frustrated that they dont understand. I apologies for that. I apologies for all this pain, however, you're only frustrated because you can't empathise with me or look through my eyes.
In my depression... i'm afraid to say... the world looks rather dark and magickal. I'm like a soul trapped in the wrong body. Could you ever comprehend that? Why would you tell me that i've been mistaken. There are true miracles in this world. I'm not that special there are others who embrace this. Art has been created in depression. Can we not channel ourselves into the darkness. Switch the razors for paintbrushes. Switch the pills for poems. Stop telling me that it's wrong to want to kill myself. The thought consumes me. Sometimes it's even sick enough to make me laugh. The restrictions of society compell me to end my life. Stop these restrictions. Stop forcing me into a box i can no longer pack myself into. Be patient and love me. When my madness takes over, let me cry in your arms. Let me write you love songs or dance tragically. Just dont tell me what i'm feeling is irrational or inappropriate for that will surely drive me over the edge. Don't instituationalise me. Don't feed me medication. I'm just Beautifully Broken and hard to categories.
Dedicated to the depressed ones who have suffered, ODed and passed away
"What It Feels Like to Be Truly Alone"
Feeling alone is waking up to the sound of static and the hum of the computer. There's no one there. The voices in your head get louder and your jaws are glued together to hard that you can barely scream.
The Air is still and it chokes you. The cars on the street sound like wild animals has they zoom past your window. Sunshine is nothing but a glaring light and your eyes are so dry that tears do not form. The shadows engulf you and your skin feels sickly and thin. Life is not worth living. The fever consumes you. You are the living dead. Forgotten. Misunderstood.
Feeling alone is waking up to the sound of static and the hum of the computer. There's no one there. The voices in your head get louder and your jaws are glued together to hard that you can barely scream.
The Air is still and it chokes you. The cars on the street sound like wild animals has they zoom past your window. Sunshine is nothing but a glaring light and your eyes are so dry that tears do not form. The shadows engulf you and your skin feels sickly and thin. Life is not worth living. The fever consumes you. You are the living dead. Forgotten. Misunderstood.
"Sleepless Big"
You said that i am an inappropriate, irrational machine. Numbing myself down, i grow closer to your heartless expectations.
You do not understand my fears. You've done all you can in your ignorance to calm me down. I scream like a madman. I hunger for reprieve. My lungs burn for air as i scream.
Is there nothing you can do to love me more? Is there not a magickal word you could utter that would take away my pain? Shall i sew up my heart to brighten your day? These questions i put before you. This is bad... i should be happy.
You said that i am an inappropriate, irrational machine. Numbing myself down, i grow closer to your heartless expectations.
You do not understand my fears. You've done all you can in your ignorance to calm me down. I scream like a madman. I hunger for reprieve. My lungs burn for air as i scream.
Is there nothing you can do to love me more? Is there not a magickal word you could utter that would take away my pain? Shall i sew up my heart to brighten your day? These questions i put before you. This is bad... i should be happy.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
"Thought I'd Point Out"
Just thought I'd waste more time slacking... I'm in the middle of a philosophy essay and what's more inspirational then daydreaming about my favorite gender-bending fictional characters. I admit that Alan Gabriel isn't really *that* androgynous but i suppose being a cyborg does kinda put one in the "in-between" category! (I hear my culture lecturers giving a sigh of approval.)
THEY LOOK ALIKE! Their character bases are so similar i'd have to be stuck under a very very very very very heavy rock with my eyes closed not to notice. it's pretty cool. I love reoccuring themes and slight hints of intertextual expectations. Gender-Benders aren't symbols of trouble makers! They are the enigmas that haunt and provoke humanity! They make us doubt, question and explore our presumed 'natural' certainties! I'll shut up and do my assignment now.. thank you for listening... *sniff*
Just thought I'd waste more time slacking... I'm in the middle of a philosophy essay and what's more inspirational then daydreaming about my favorite gender-bending fictional characters. I admit that Alan Gabriel isn't really *that* androgynous but i suppose being a cyborg does kinda put one in the "in-between" category! (I hear my culture lecturers giving a sigh of approval.)
THEY LOOK ALIKE! Their character bases are so similar i'd have to be stuck under a very very very very very heavy rock with my eyes closed not to notice. it's pretty cool. I love reoccuring themes and slight hints of intertextual expectations. Gender-Benders aren't symbols of trouble makers! They are the enigmas that haunt and provoke humanity! They make us doubt, question and explore our presumed 'natural' certainties! I'll shut up and do my assignment now.. thank you for listening... *sniff*
"A Moment with Chim Beng"
Things in life is so unpredicable, when u can't oppose it enjoy it 'p (lin Nan) says:
haha.... if u in singapore, i sure court u de ;p
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
not knock me down with your car har!?
Things in life is so unpredicable, when u can't oppose it enjoy it 'p (lin Nan) says:
of cse not..... hmm... maybe hire someone then at the last min save u haha.... ying xiong jiu mei ;p
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
*faint
Things in life is so unpredicable, when u can't oppose it enjoy it 'p (lin Nan) says:
haha.... if u in singapore, i sure court u de ;p
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
not knock me down with your car har!?
Things in life is so unpredicable, when u can't oppose it enjoy it 'p (lin Nan) says:
of cse not..... hmm... maybe hire someone then at the last min save u haha.... ying xiong jiu mei ;p
Sabriel - Dark Epic Drama Queen says:
*faint
"Boy of My Dreams"
I admire him because he knows what he wants...
I wish things were simple. I wish he'd look my way again. Why does he have to be so far away? Why couldn't our paths cross just that little bit longer.
Beautiful Creatures... Smile for the camera. Even photographs lie.
I'm going to make you proud of me!
I'm going to do the best i can!
I admire him because he knows what he wants...
"and then i thought... what an amazing person...."
I wish things were simple. I wish he'd look my way again. Why does he have to be so far away? Why couldn't our paths cross just that little bit longer.
Beautiful Creatures... Smile for the camera. Even photographs lie.
I'm going to make you proud of me!
I'm going to do the best i can!
"This Little Angel's Time is Up"
I can't believe that i could be leaving my nest... will anyone notice my absence? Will they miss me? What's so cool about being me anyways? Do you have any idea how hard it is to relocate!?
Heaven's Calling...
Should i just be happy with what has been dished out to me? Or should i fight it to stay and protect the ones i love?
I can't believe that i could be leaving my nest... will anyone notice my absence? Will they miss me? What's so cool about being me anyways? Do you have any idea how hard it is to relocate!?
Heaven's Calling...
Should i just be happy with what has been dished out to me? Or should i fight it to stay and protect the ones i love?
"What Do You Mean?"
Okay i know i should give the quotation stuff a rest but it reflects how i'm interacting with the world right now. I'm left alone with my own thoughts. Things that have been said are all coming back to haunt me. I'm trying to keep my sanity. I love you. We're better off alone.
I'm part of someone else's life. That's always nice. I might be a grubby little gobline princess but i'm still wanted in the lives of people i love and care about. There's nothing set in stone. I have to make my own mark and carve out what i want the world to see.
I think it's all going to be fine.
There's YOU and then There's MY LIFE" - Le Olde Master J.
Okay i know i should give the quotation stuff a rest but it reflects how i'm interacting with the world right now. I'm left alone with my own thoughts. Things that have been said are all coming back to haunt me. I'm trying to keep my sanity. I love you. We're better off alone.
I'm part of someone else's life. That's always nice. I might be a grubby little gobline princess but i'm still wanted in the lives of people i love and care about. There's nothing set in stone. I have to make my own mark and carve out what i want the world to see.
I think it's all going to be fine.
"Shigeta"
If you haven't noticed by now, i'm notorious for citing manga to express the way i feel...
If you haven't noticed by now, i'm notorious for citing manga to express the way i feel...
This voice... this voice that gives me the chills...Whose voice is
this?
It's me... TakahashiIt's calling me from deep in my cells. I feel it..
I'm in trouble right now...
I'll probably die!!!
Come over NOW!!!
Takahashi Goes!Shit this is bad. I'm really happy...
-Moyoco Anno, Happy Mania
Yes... this is bad.. I really AM happy.... Is this going to be the end of Sabby? Perhaps he's the only one that truly understands and appreciates the sabby madness?! Get away all you baby queenie teeny-booper boys still in your diapers... You're no match for Shigeta's Takahashi!
(Beauty Loves Beauty... Ugliness Knows No Boundaries...)
"Break Up Letter"
Inspired by Kimi Wa Peto
Inspired by Kimi Wa Peto
Dear Vice President of the Pet Association,
I’m not sure when you’ll get this letter, but by then I suppose that we have already broken up. It is unfortunate that things had to turn out this way and I understand that you are not responsible for it.
For the past few days all I’ve heard is the frustration in your voice. I never wanted to hear that tone from you. It makes me cringe. That heaviness and lifelessness made me realize that I had overstayed my welcome.
It is better off that we are apart. Please don’t make this any hard then it is for me. You’ve made me realize that I’m nothing but a burden to you.
Your life seems fulfilling and full of people who care about you. I only wish I could have contributed more. I wish I could have felt more part of it.
Our time together made me very happy. But I’m afraid that it has to end now. At the end of the day, I feel foolish for thinking that things could have worked out. I had wished you would understand me more. Being beside you has only made me realized how twisted I am on the inside. As you said, I am inappropriate. I agree with that.
I wished our parting words were kinder and gentler. I know there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’m truly sorry.
I’ll always think of you as my knight in shining armor. I just wish that I never woke up from that dream.
There’s so much more I want to say but I can’t. I feel empty and hollow
inside.
Our separation, even though circumstantial, tore me up into a million pieces to which I can never recover. If only you could have empathized with me.
I love you.S-Chan
Ps. It would be very much like you to read this letter and pretend that it never existed. Some of my happiest moments, were when you were crying with me. At least I knew then that you were feeling what I was.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
"To The Boys At University"
I said this once and i'll say this again. If you want me to give you a lapdance, you'll have to play some RnB.
The Management.
I said this once and i'll say this again. If you want me to give you a lapdance, you'll have to play some RnB.
The Management.
"Waiting to be Kissed By Paradise"
I'd have to say waiting for an anime is the worst feeling ever. I've already tired to limewire it several times this week but to no avail. Will some kind soul just upload it already?!
Considering that this is one of my favorite mangas/animes in the entire shojo category, (respects to Nana though, which sometimes hits too close to home for my comfort) I'm pretty peeved. I can only calm myself down by staring blankly at the show's official website (http://parakiss.tv/_pkiss/) and google for a couple of screenshots here and there. On the whole, i'd say it looks pretty cool for now with mixed reviews. I can't get over the opening song though. Tommy February6's "Lonely In Gorgeous" is awsome, though the title doesn't really make any sense, but that's japanese pop-culture for you!
Reading the manga i kinda imagine that most of the bastards i've been attracted to are alot like George. Think Elf Prince cum Confused Asshole. *sigh*
I'd have to say waiting for an anime is the worst feeling ever. I've already tired to limewire it several times this week but to no avail. Will some kind soul just upload it already?!
Considering that this is one of my favorite mangas/animes in the entire shojo category, (respects to Nana though, which sometimes hits too close to home for my comfort) I'm pretty peeved. I can only calm myself down by staring blankly at the show's official website (http://parakiss.tv/_pkiss/) and google for a couple of screenshots here and there. On the whole, i'd say it looks pretty cool for now with mixed reviews. I can't get over the opening song though. Tommy February6's "Lonely In Gorgeous" is awsome, though the title doesn't really make any sense, but that's japanese pop-culture for you!
Reading the manga i kinda imagine that most of the bastards i've been attracted to are alot like George. Think Elf Prince cum Confused Asshole. *sigh*
"But I'm a equal opportunity lover. I don't refuse anyone and I don't hold onto
anyone. That's the way I've lived until now." -George Koizumi, Stage 16
"Salon"
Sometimes i look at myself in the mirror and wonder what's behind this face of mine. It's big-eyed innocences and crystal cut features seem to hide the fact that i'm not really human after all...
Why do they treat me the way that they do? Why am i constantly sexualised. My intellegence only teases them further into this challenge to make me submit to them. Am i really just an artifact to be objectified by them?
In my darker hours, i long only to scar myself. I'd hate this body. I'd hate this face. My temple. My prison. Between me and the world lies this shape that holds me trapped.
I'm not perfect at all. Stop treating me like i am. Stop treating me like i'm perfectly broken. Beautifully Broken and just for you. It's not right, but the only way you can interact with me is through this shell i'm in. Will things be different some day? WIll you be able to look beyond my murderous body only to see the twisted soul inside?
Sometimes i look at myself in the mirror and wonder what's behind this face of mine. It's big-eyed innocences and crystal cut features seem to hide the fact that i'm not really human after all...
Why do they treat me the way that they do? Why am i constantly sexualised. My intellegence only teases them further into this challenge to make me submit to them. Am i really just an artifact to be objectified by them?
In my darker hours, i long only to scar myself. I'd hate this body. I'd hate this face. My temple. My prison. Between me and the world lies this shape that holds me trapped.
I'm not perfect at all. Stop treating me like i am. Stop treating me like i'm perfectly broken. Beautifully Broken and just for you. It's not right, but the only way you can interact with me is through this shell i'm in. Will things be different some day? WIll you be able to look beyond my murderous body only to see the twisted soul inside?
"This is Pointless"
I can't get my head around it. It's like it's slipping away bit by bit. I'm not coping very well. One more time. I keep telling myself that i'll never slip through the cracks again but i can't stop myself.
I can't get my head around it. It's like it's slipping away bit by bit. I'm not coping very well. One more time. I keep telling myself that i'll never slip through the cracks again but i can't stop myself.
"Trashy TV"
Spent the earlier part of the afternoon watching eurovision. I think I'm getting pretty psychotic because i was actually pretty engaged with all that happy fluffy stuff. Being dark and kinda schizophernic might do that to a person. I'm not sure anymore. There's really nothing much to know about me. Maybe i'm not even here... i repeat.. it's a bad idea to write about myself. I think emotions come out better in words then what happens to me in those mundane everyday moments. I'm so cryptic it's not funny anymore. I'm so sick and tired of these feelings.
Spent the earlier part of the afternoon watching eurovision. I think I'm getting pretty psychotic because i was actually pretty engaged with all that happy fluffy stuff. Being dark and kinda schizophernic might do that to a person. I'm not sure anymore. There's really nothing much to know about me. Maybe i'm not even here... i repeat.. it's a bad idea to write about myself. I think emotions come out better in words then what happens to me in those mundane everyday moments. I'm so cryptic it's not funny anymore. I'm so sick and tired of these feelings.
"Why Writing Up About My Life is Always a Bad Idea"
I've recently stubbled onto several blogs by friends who have in the tradition of cohersive forces have made blogs about their lives. I've been wondering why i can't do the same. The answer's pretty obvious - my life is filled with unspeakables. I can't tell you who or what the last job was. I can't tell you what was the last hit i had and why i did it. Life isn't that simple as "oh my god.. the car stopped!" I sometimes wished it was. Thus, my apologies to those to read this blog. You'll learn nothing about my life... unless you want to the global mob after you, or my magnum to your head.. and no i'm not talking about ice cream here.
Sometimes i wish i was normal like everyone else. I dont want to sleep with knives under my pillow.
so you see... you'd probably agree that blogging about my life's a pretty bad idea...
thank you.
I've recently stubbled onto several blogs by friends who have in the tradition of cohersive forces have made blogs about their lives. I've been wondering why i can't do the same. The answer's pretty obvious - my life is filled with unspeakables. I can't tell you who or what the last job was. I can't tell you what was the last hit i had and why i did it. Life isn't that simple as "oh my god.. the car stopped!" I sometimes wished it was. Thus, my apologies to those to read this blog. You'll learn nothing about my life... unless you want to the global mob after you, or my magnum to your head.. and no i'm not talking about ice cream here.
Sometimes i wish i was normal like everyone else. I dont want to sleep with knives under my pillow.
so you see... you'd probably agree that blogging about my life's a pretty bad idea...
thank you.
Friday, November 11, 2005
"Merging Into You"
Fusion. Complete and Utter Fusion. I want to feel your pain and loneliness. Underneath your exterior i see an awkward and wayward boy. I want to hold you and take care of you. Can't you just look my way again one more time. I miss you. Eventhough i never said it out loud to you, you've always been on my mind.
Why didn't we seek each other out? Why did we have those moments together. Like a couple of shy new lovers. I'm so sick of remembering those days. Chained together by another, so close yet so far. I could make you happy.
Dreaming of something that could have been. It's too late. It's always too late... yet... dreams still could come true.
Fusion. Complete and Utter Fusion. I want to feel your pain and loneliness. Underneath your exterior i see an awkward and wayward boy. I want to hold you and take care of you. Can't you just look my way again one more time. I miss you. Eventhough i never said it out loud to you, you've always been on my mind.
Why didn't we seek each other out? Why did we have those moments together. Like a couple of shy new lovers. I'm so sick of remembering those days. Chained together by another, so close yet so far. I could make you happy.
Dreaming of something that could have been. It's too late. It's always too late... yet... dreams still could come true.
"Confronting Demons"
I've always had trouble deciphering these blogs. Most the time i forget what swept me up into the mood to write all these things anyways. Maybe i have a split personality or something.
I'm such a strange creature. If only i could tell you what it's like behind my eyes, in my head. There's a pressure that keeps pushing me. There's hissing and pain.
1 Week is a long time...
24 Hours is a long time too...
I've always had trouble deciphering these blogs. Most the time i forget what swept me up into the mood to write all these things anyways. Maybe i have a split personality or something.
I'm such a strange creature. If only i could tell you what it's like behind my eyes, in my head. There's a pressure that keeps pushing me. There's hissing and pain.
1 Week is a long time...
24 Hours is a long time too...
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
"Even If I Could Scream"
It's ok.. you've only lost a love.... another meaningless chapter in your life is closing. Your experiances are now your assests. No one can take that away from you. This is all you can do now. Kiss me one more time. I could never hurt you.
It's ok.. you've only lost a love.... another meaningless chapter in your life is closing. Your experiances are now your assests. No one can take that away from you. This is all you can do now. Kiss me one more time. I could never hurt you.
"Kitty L.O.V.E."
Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop.
Lol. Ok. In one of my rather *ahem* moments, i thought it was a cute idea to but Sassy (sam's cat) and Morpheus (my cat) together in a photo.. dont ask me why.. it's over now...
Beats writing sappy proses about people who probably dont exist outside of my mind. I seriously think i'm schizophrenic! Somebody cut down my dopamine levels! Domo-SU!
Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop. Never hit a bong and photoshop.
Lol. Ok. In one of my rather *ahem* moments, i thought it was a cute idea to but Sassy (sam's cat) and Morpheus (my cat) together in a photo.. dont ask me why.. it's over now...
Beats writing sappy proses about people who probably dont exist outside of my mind. I seriously think i'm schizophrenic! Somebody cut down my dopamine levels! Domo-SU!
"True Love"
What can i say about my bestiest bester best best friend sammie... she's a gorgeous goddess of a genius! Sigh...
She's not only talented but.. drool... hehe.. ok maybe i should stop freaking people out. However, i genuinely think she's a fantastic one of a kind person who has stuck by me thick and thin. She could just be my everything.
What can i say about my bestiest bester best best friend sammie... she's a gorgeous goddess of a genius! Sigh...
She's not only talented but.. drool... hehe.. ok maybe i should stop freaking people out. However, i genuinely think she's a fantastic one of a kind person who has stuck by me thick and thin. She could just be my everything.
Monday, November 07, 2005
"That Night I Tried to Study..."
Thinking about that night again. Been so long since you left. I'm such a stupid girl thinking that something could happen between us. I'm not even myself anymore. I'm such a weirdo.
Thinking about that night again. Been so long since you left. I'm such a stupid girl thinking that something could happen between us. I'm not even myself anymore. I'm such a weirdo.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
"Wonderwall"
Someone once said this song was kinda how he felt about me and that everytime he listened to it, i'd come into his mind. I'm not sure if he was just trying to be charming.
Someone once said this song was kinda how he felt about me and that everytime he listened to it, i'd come into his mind. I'm not sure if he was just trying to be charming.
Wonderwall -Oasis
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw
it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta
do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now
Backbeat the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is
out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a
doubt
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
about you now
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights
that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like
to say to you
But I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be
the one that saves me
And after all
You're my
wonderwall
Today
was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it
back to you
By now you
should've somehow
Realized what you're not to
do
I don't believe that
anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now
And all the roads that
lead you there were winding
And all the
lights that light the way are
blinding
There are many things that I
would like to say to you
But I
don't know how
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my
wonderwall
I said maybe (I said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that
saves me
And after all
You're my
wonderwall
I said maybe (I
said maybe)
You're gonna be the one that
saves me (that saves me) 3X
"Coming Back For More"
Coming Back For More - Ashlee Simpson
Sunday morning blues always about
you
I wake up alone in a big room
Got myself to blame for all my bad
moods
And I really wish that I didn't feel this way
I want to break the
circle but the circle won't break
I don't wanna spend another night
Trying to figure why you are always on my mind woah
All I know you keep
me coming back for more
Even when I think I've had enough
When I tell
you that it's over now we're done, ooh
Don't let go, just keep coming back
for more
You keep me coming coming coming coming back for more
I'm
coming coming coming coming back
Two weeks and three whole days and I
give in
I was doing so good but you always win
And I really wish
sometimes that we would just move on
But what would I be doing if you were
gone
I don't wanna spend another night
Trying to figure why you are
always on my mind woah
All I know you keep me coming back for more
Even
when I think I've had enough
When I tell you that it's over now we're done,
ooh
Don't let go, just keep coming back for more
You always find a
way to make me want to stay
You'll never get away from me
I don't
wanna spend another night
Trying to figure why you are always on my mind
woah
All I know you keep me coming back for more
Even when I think I've
had enough
When I tell you that it's over now we're done, ooh
Don't let
gom just keep coming back for more
You keep me coming coming coming
coming back for more
Coming back for more
You keep me coming coming
coming coming back for more
Just keep me coming back for more
Friday, November 04, 2005
"To Make You Make You Make You"
What can i say to make you feel better?
I'm so far away, far apart from where you are. I'm in a different world and even the scent of blood smells like candy here. We're so different. I'm an alien to you.
I was once your princess. Slipping through your fingers and loving you just as i loved myself. In the end you walked away from my curled up misery instead of holding me close and loving me.
Now i've been tossed around. You've fooled around. I'm nothing to you. You said you were a hero for all of the world. You're not that great. You've fallen away from the true grace. I lied for you. I've held you even when heaven forsaked me. I'm the martyr. The Golden Mary. Did you not love me more when i gave it all up for you?
I loved you. I loved you. Touching your skin. Drove me insane.
Now i'm sober. Swallowed into depression. You reach for me when i am dead. Holding on to nothingness. I'm drifting into insanity. I'm alone in this eternity.
What can i say to make you feel better?
I'm so far away, far apart from where you are. I'm in a different world and even the scent of blood smells like candy here. We're so different. I'm an alien to you.
I was once your princess. Slipping through your fingers and loving you just as i loved myself. In the end you walked away from my curled up misery instead of holding me close and loving me.
Now i've been tossed around. You've fooled around. I'm nothing to you. You said you were a hero for all of the world. You're not that great. You've fallen away from the true grace. I lied for you. I've held you even when heaven forsaked me. I'm the martyr. The Golden Mary. Did you not love me more when i gave it all up for you?
I loved you. I loved you. Touching your skin. Drove me insane.
Now i'm sober. Swallowed into depression. You reach for me when i am dead. Holding on to nothingness. I'm drifting into insanity. I'm alone in this eternity.
"I'm NOT a Princess"
I want to die. i want to die. i want to die. There's nothing here but hell... leave me alone.
I want to die. i want to die. i want to die. There's nothing here but hell... leave me alone.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
"Show's Over"
I love you. I just dont want to live anymore. Dont tell me that it's ok and that we'll speak tomorrow because there wont be one for us. Everything hurts so badly inside me right now. I can't feel anything besides the pain.
if you really did love me, none of this would have happened.
I love you. I just dont want to live anymore. Dont tell me that it's ok and that we'll speak tomorrow because there wont be one for us. Everything hurts so badly inside me right now. I can't feel anything besides the pain.
if you really did love me, none of this would have happened.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
"The Corpse Anti-Princess Dress/Baby's Got a New Dress"
I'm so psyched up because i managed to get this dress!!! it's kinda tim burton inspired (ala The Corpse Bride). Autopsy Stitches and all... I'm not much of a journal entry person.. but a picture is worth a thousand words and are perhaps they might illuminate a certain sanity... i'm not much for sanity.. don't think i ever way. This is the anti-fashion me speaking.. Hello is anyone out there?
I'm so psyched up because i managed to get this dress!!! it's kinda tim burton inspired (ala The Corpse Bride). Autopsy Stitches and all... I'm not much of a journal entry person.. but a picture is worth a thousand words and are perhaps they might illuminate a certain sanity... i'm not much for sanity.. don't think i ever way. This is the anti-fashion me speaking.. Hello is anyone out there?
"Odd Sense"
I have the strangest feeling that i've lost touch with reality, but what else is new? Some times i feel no one gives a shit about me but i suppose i'm not doing justics to everyone that cares about me. I'm pretty loved. I just dont have the capacity to convince myself of otherwise. Pretty upset that the corpse bride will only be out in australia on 17th November. It's been out everywhere like... forever? I dont even know why i'm pinning away for it... i guess Tim Burton and I come from the same creepy planet. Oh yea.. Let's not forget Danny Elfman....
I have the strangest feeling that i've lost touch with reality, but what else is new? Some times i feel no one gives a shit about me but i suppose i'm not doing justics to everyone that cares about me. I'm pretty loved. I just dont have the capacity to convince myself of otherwise. Pretty upset that the corpse bride will only be out in australia on 17th November. It's been out everywhere like... forever? I dont even know why i'm pinning away for it... i guess Tim Burton and I come from the same creepy planet. Oh yea.. Let's not forget Danny Elfman....
